We Have Everything We Need Within (and a swimming lesson)
Have you ever felt lost, unsure of your next steps in life, then later, when you weren’t thinking about it, an answer or solution came to you out of the blue? Have you ever been stressed out or worried, gone to bed and then awakened in a peaceful state? Or, as a client recently shared, have you ever been in an argument with your spouse or partner when the phone rings and it’s a business call. You get on the call and shift your focus to business. After you hang up, you can’t remember what the point of the argument was, or a resolution suddenly looks obvious?
Well, if you are like me, you answered “yes” to at least one of these scenarios. It’s not a mystery that our current state of mind can change in an instant. There is science behind it. Our true nature, or default setting is peace, wellbeing, and a host of resources such as common sense, creativity, wisdom, resilience, fresh perspectives and so much more. And the nature of thought is that it is perpetually on the move, like a river flowing. The second you take your attention away from upset, stress, fear, or any negative thoughts, a feeling of calm or relief will instantly appear.
Many years ago, I had a life altering realization about the deeper dimension within. I saw that there was nothing to fix because my default was calm and well-being when I wasn’t thinking my way out of it. This realization cleared up so many mysteries and allowed me to settle into a more secure sense of self. A memory from childhood serves as a good metaphor for the nature of that deeper dimension.
When I was about 5 years old my mother took me to swimming lessons. It was a cool, sunny, early summer day. My eyes lingered on the kiddy pool as we hustled toward the scary, big, deep adult pool. The instructor told me to get in the pool by holding onto the ledge with arms outstretched behind me, facing toward the pool with my legs bent behind me and feet on the wall.
“Now, push off from the wall and swim,” she said. Frozen in place I trembled. Prickly goosebumps covered my arms and legs. Tense, breathless, face puckered in fear, I felt the cool water lapping against me from the other kids who had already launched. I wanted to choke from the smell of chlorine. My drenched sky-blue swimsuit clung to my little body and accented my flushed face. I was lost in a chilling reverie of blue: blue water, blue pool sides, blue sky. In a panic, I thrust myself forward for a few seconds and thrashed my way back to the ledge for safety. This happened several times.
Seeing my distress, the instructor came to the middle of the pool in front of me. “Try one more time, Mary. Push!” she said. I took the deepest breath possible and pushed hard with my legs and submerged into the water. Suddenly, I was swimming! At that moment a clear thought popped into my head: “Ohhhh…the water is doing it for me!” I was supported and held by the very water I had been terrified of entering. I realized that if I relax and move arms and legs, the water will keep me buoyant. From that moment on, I trusted in the art of swimming and that the water would hold me up.
I love this story as a metaphor for how well taken care of we are on the inside. The way I see it, we are the stuff of life we come from (whatever your belief is about that). We have 24/7 access to an intelligence behind life that has our backs. It keeps us buoyant no matter what. We can trust in the art of living well if we look to our innate gifts of wisdom, resilience, common sense, creative intelligence, and intuition as guides to keep us afloat.